A More Accurate Food Pyramid

I've come to the conclusion that the recommended diet of 6 servings of whole grains, 4 of vegetable, 2.5 of fruits, 3 of dairy, none of fun stuff, is really to constricting.  Seriously US Department of Agriculture, what is 2.5 servings anyway?  How could I have only a half serving?  That would be wasteful.  A larger question I have though is why is the Department of Agriculture in charge of establishing the "proper diet" and not the Department of Health?

Anyway, this is what I've noticed my diet consists of:

Thanks.

Chug Life

My grandmother, who I lived with, passed away on Tuesday evening.  Consequently I haven't been feeling too funny, inspired, motivated, or generally content.  This will hopefully increase the tortured artist aspect to this blog/attempted web-comic.  Do not fear!  I promise that in a week or two I will be filled with so much nostalgic "I-miss-my-grandma" emotions that it will swell up inside me until I burst with inappropriate and/or wildly offensive comics.

In place of the standard comic, I spent most of the day working on the following sketch.  While I doubt my family will approve of it, my grandmother certainly would have.

For once I am at a lack for words.

Thank you for visiting even if it was on a somber note.

-Rosie

The Great Eyebrow Tragedy of 2010

There was a terrible incident earlier this week involving me, a pair of scissors, my bangs, and my innocent right eyebrow.  Enjoy my self-deprecation, I certainly do.
By the way, I am aware tragedy is spelled incorrectly as "trajedy," my apologies grammar police.

Thanks buddies.

Walgreens Select/Cheese?

Sorry for the quality of the next drawing/comic/class notes, I promise to invest in better colored pencils/markers when I trip over a duffel bag of $20 bills.  These Walgreens Select are really not cutting it.  Despite claiming to be "the #1 choice of Teachers.  Blindly, I eagerly grabbed the last box of 50 color rich pencils and apathetically grabbed the box 10 markers, because I really only wanted the black one.  What I should have realized was that the title of "#1 choice of Teachers" was a warning flag.
Think:
When was the last time you regularly used colored pencils and markers?

Elementary School, probably a public one too because if you went to a private school you were given paint and brushes made of unicorn hairs.  Fact.

Consequently, since they are working at a public school it is safe to assume their budget is wildly underfunded.  I find this to be the only logical explanation for why Walgreens Select is "the #1 choice of Teachers."  Really, it should be "the #1 choice of broke-ass-good-intentioned-city-employees."  And I have the utmost respect for the majority of you, but your clear lapse in art supply preference makes me question some of your judgements.

In my review I would say:

While not my first choice, Walgreens Select Colored Pencils come in a variety of shades.  However, it does savor of a marketing attempt to win over consumers by offering 50-fucking-colors in 1 box.  I assume they are feebly trying to distract me from the actual quality of the product by reminding me that such colors as "Sand" or "Periwinkle Blue" exist.  I find that they smudge and are not perfect.  Price wise they are quite reasonable  I would recommend them to broke-ass public school teachers.
-Rosemary Reese, Professional Critic of All Things Trivial

I Digress:

Reasons Why I Love Colie #1

A brief conversation between my friend, Colie, and I about the harmful effects of prescription drug abuse. 

R.I.P. HEATH LEDGER

Self Portraits

So in case you don't know what I look like or am into, here's a self portrait:

It was nice to finally find a use to all that cursive writing we were taught in elementary school.  Remember how you were informed that you would use cursive every day and that all your future teachers will scoff at your flimsy penmanship?  Well guess what: NO I DON'T BECAUSE I HAVE A GOD DAMN COMPUTER, MRS. O'HARE!!!  Despite me going to college I have never had a Prof. require me to turn in a hand written in cursive paper.  NO ONE CARES, WHY DID WE HAVE IT DRILLED INTO US EVERY AFTERNOON!  Did I miss the time warp where we all traveled back to the Renaissance where printing presses were rare and penmanship was crucial?  I don't think so, because I'm thoroughly enjoying the benefits of electricity at this very moment, which became available in the 20th Century.
Time warp theory - disproven.
Therefore, cursive lessons = pointless.

I digress.


However, it appears a lot of the details were lost in the scanning process, it was originally supposed to look similar to this:

Technology is clearly against me in this post.  But the benefits of not having to use cursive all the time make it forgivable.

Thanks for visiting d00dz.  I can't believe I actually have page views :D

First Post

In honor of my first post here is a poorly photo-shopped kitten factory.  I firmly believe all of my problems would be solved in such a place.

Now, you maybe thinking: 'what a cop-out, of course I love kittens, she's is trying to appeal to my fascination with helpless furry mammals in order to gain subscribers rather than original, possibly thought provoking, content.'  And that is correct.  In my defense I did make this image, so it is original, thought provoking - debatable.  However, by creating such a seemingly unimpressive first blog post I have now prepared you to be amazed at my future posts.  Is setting the bar low cheating?  I don't know, I hate philosophy so don't expect any intrinsic advice here.  Is that a manifestation of my low self-esteem? Probably.

So like a classroom caterpillar crawling forth from its' chrysalis at a painfully slow rate I too will post new material occasionally, until I am transformed into a butterfly.  In reality, it will probably be closer to a moth and the entire class of kindergartners will be disappointed and go home crying, but a winged insect none the less.  Thank you for visiting and making me one step closer towards becoming Ruler of the Internet.

Plus my class grade depends on this.