EYEBROW UPDATE

EYEBROW TRAGEDY UPDATE

I am no longer being confused with Soulja Boy.  So please stop calling me "Kanye" "Soulja" "50 Cent" or any other variety of rapper with steps shaved into their eyebrow.  My eyebrow is growing quite nicely, and there are no longer really obvious pieces missing.  It just looks patchy.
If there is any confusion let me enlighten you.
Me:

Not me:

Happy Holidays by the way.

No one will ever love me as much as my cat.

The next post is about my cat.  His name is Stanly, Stan if you know him well enough.  Stan came into my life, and coincidently my family's, in 2005.  My parents live on about an acre of land in what some would consider a "semi-rurual"area of Sonoma County.  There in the beautiful country side, I spent my adolescence kicking rocks and finding cats.  For some unknown reason, people consider this to be the best place to drop off their pets when they no longer want them.  Regularly we would discover our back field to be habitated by lonely people-friendly cats, hungry and desperate for pets.  Apparently, people are confused when they get kittens.  Just in case you didn't know let me explain.
Contrary to popular belief, kittens do not stay in their pint sized, gooey eyed, disproportionate bodies forever.  Eventually they grow up.  And they get big.  And indpendent.  And, let's be honest, not as cute.  This is when confused owners take their domesticated cattens (term for kitten that's almost a cat) and drop them off in a field.  On occasion, that field would be my parents' field.
That is how I met Stan.  My mother is allergic to cats and vowed never to let us take one into the house.  Stan was determined to make it in though.  After a couple weeks of begging for entry, Stan succesffuly infiltrated the house.

Basically, no one will ever love me as much as Stan does.  Fact.

Hopefully I am not the only one who has experienced this.  If you've had a cat chew on your head while you sleep please let me so I can be reassured Stan isn't trying to pull some Sigfried/Roy Tiger maul shit.

A More Accurate Food Pyramid

I've come to the conclusion that the recommended diet of 6 servings of whole grains, 4 of vegetable, 2.5 of fruits, 3 of dairy, none of fun stuff, is really to constricting.  Seriously US Department of Agriculture, what is 2.5 servings anyway?  How could I have only a half serving?  That would be wasteful.  A larger question I have though is why is the Department of Agriculture in charge of establishing the "proper diet" and not the Department of Health?

Anyway, this is what I've noticed my diet consists of:

Thanks.

Chug Life

My grandmother, who I lived with, passed away on Tuesday evening.  Consequently I haven't been feeling too funny, inspired, motivated, or generally content.  This will hopefully increase the tortured artist aspect to this blog/attempted web-comic.  Do not fear!  I promise that in a week or two I will be filled with so much nostalgic "I-miss-my-grandma" emotions that it will swell up inside me until I burst with inappropriate and/or wildly offensive comics.

In place of the standard comic, I spent most of the day working on the following sketch.  While I doubt my family will approve of it, my grandmother certainly would have.

For once I am at a lack for words.

Thank you for visiting even if it was on a somber note.

-Rosie

The Great Eyebrow Tragedy of 2010

There was a terrible incident earlier this week involving me, a pair of scissors, my bangs, and my innocent right eyebrow.  Enjoy my self-deprecation, I certainly do.
By the way, I am aware tragedy is spelled incorrectly as "trajedy," my apologies grammar police.

Thanks buddies.

Walgreens Select/Cheese?

Sorry for the quality of the next drawing/comic/class notes, I promise to invest in better colored pencils/markers when I trip over a duffel bag of $20 bills.  These Walgreens Select are really not cutting it.  Despite claiming to be "the #1 choice of Teachers.  Blindly, I eagerly grabbed the last box of 50 color rich pencils and apathetically grabbed the box 10 markers, because I really only wanted the black one.  What I should have realized was that the title of "#1 choice of Teachers" was a warning flag.
Think:
When was the last time you regularly used colored pencils and markers?

Elementary School, probably a public one too because if you went to a private school you were given paint and brushes made of unicorn hairs.  Fact.

Consequently, since they are working at a public school it is safe to assume their budget is wildly underfunded.  I find this to be the only logical explanation for why Walgreens Select is "the #1 choice of Teachers."  Really, it should be "the #1 choice of broke-ass-good-intentioned-city-employees."  And I have the utmost respect for the majority of you, but your clear lapse in art supply preference makes me question some of your judgements.

In my review I would say:

While not my first choice, Walgreens Select Colored Pencils come in a variety of shades.  However, it does savor of a marketing attempt to win over consumers by offering 50-fucking-colors in 1 box.  I assume they are feebly trying to distract me from the actual quality of the product by reminding me that such colors as "Sand" or "Periwinkle Blue" exist.  I find that they smudge and are not perfect.  Price wise they are quite reasonable  I would recommend them to broke-ass public school teachers.
-Rosemary Reese, Professional Critic of All Things Trivial

I Digress:

Reasons Why I Love Colie #1

A brief conversation between my friend, Colie, and I about the harmful effects of prescription drug abuse. 

R.I.P. HEATH LEDGER